I just found this. Originally posted March 9, 2004, when the boys were 3 1/2

So here's the "my kids are going to drive me to drink/shoot up/run away" story of the day....
about 2pm.
we head upstairs so i can shower.
(yeah i'm a real go getter, i know)
I turn on sesame street, hoping to entertain them in close proximity to my showering venture.
I tripped and landed with my nose in a book, so i sat down to read for a minute...
They wandered downstairs, and i thought i heard the front door open.
Me in my p.j.s
Them in shirts.
Yup, just shirts.
Max actually had underwear on, but not a stitch on Oliver--in the tradition of such childhood favorites as donald duck, winnie the pooh, etc.
So.
I head to the stairs to check it out.
Front door's wide open.
Me in my p.j.s
I peek out, don't see them.
Walk towards the road, look down the block.
Oh, there they are.
About a block down, picking up broken beer bottle glass.
I was suddenly finding it impossible to imagine that i am not, in fact, white trash.
I was laughing too hard to scold them.
(Is anyone else wondering why they don't behave very well??)
But once we got inside, I did very calmly explain to them that we do NOT go outside without mommy.
Or pants.

Have a great day, and don't neglect your pill/patch/shot/condom supply/vasectomy!!!

2011

They are about to enter 6th grade
they are over 5 feet tall
they are wildly creative and smart and funny
and
I miss those little chubby-cheeked 4-year-olds I last wrote about...
oh, those darling little fellas!
but at least I have home movies that treat me to a type of time travel, so I can spend a few moments relishing their early years...
And yes, I definitely wish I had written more here!!!
And I wish I could reach through the screen and hug those little guys again...cuz these lanky, near-teenagers won't really let me hold them on my lap (not that I could) or give them 47 kisses all over their little faces...
oh well...my 11-year-olds are great, too...

I should write more here...

Or at least I should always copy the anecdotes from the main blog over to this one, when I write them.

So, last weekend I took the boys on a hike, up Provo Canyon. Nothing too dangerous--just the paved bike trail. There has been a lot of snow and rain this season, so we're having some flooding problems, and one of the measures taken is this little dam in the western side of the canyon, letting out a fabulous little waterfall, forming a new river which joins the provo river at some point. anyway, it makes for a most idyllic place to play. The weather was perfect, low 80s, and sunny. the water was cool and crisp, and the scenery was...breathtaking. We ate a picnic, and then splashed and played. At one point, a sparkly-eyed Oliver turned to me and said, "Mom! thank you for bringing me here! I love you!" I could tell that he was as filled with the joy of it all as I was, so i offered him some new words to express this: "does it make your heart happy?" "Oh, yes! It does! and it makes my body happy, too! My body's going to ask its mom if it can come back here lots of times!"

Last week, they graduated from preschool, and that was damn cute. They sang a few songs, and each child took a turn with spelling his or her name, and saying "what I want to be when I grow up". Max was one of the first few children, and the microphone wasn't working. when it was fixed, and Oliver got to use it, max was rather blatantly upset about it. siiigh. they both did really great, though--and are such smartie pantses, that I can't even stand it. They are so inquisitive and demanding for knowledge. It exhausts me--it's rather like being on Larry King Live, 12 hours a day. they constantly drill me with questions, but it's good for them to learn, so I answer them fully, whenever I can. If they ask a strange or nonsensical question (this happens only rarely), and I simply do not know the answer, they get very frustrated with me--"you're not a smart mommy!" erg. YES, you little turkeys, I am.

Max has taken it upon himself to learn his left from his right, and has been successful--and very quickly. He'll check with me once in a while, and I affirm that he is correct. and...they're both so handsome it kills me!

We signed them up to be on a tee ball team, starting next week! It's two nights a week, and they'll have little shirts and hats...I can't wait! They also start their summer session of preschool next week, which is a good way for me to maintain my sanity, as well as for them to stay in a routine of going to school--it'll be more fun and games than this year was, anyway, so I don't feel like a slave driver. I just love the idea of still getting a little time to myself...

just need to vent a little...

my kids wear me out.
I guess I was getting spoiled, for a while there.
hubby home from work on time every night.
home every weekend.
and we had babysitters at our beck and call--
so we had dates at least once a week.
now...
he's not often home before the kids are in bed,
and weekends are busy.
no babysitters around,
so we've only had a handful of dates since February.
I guess this probably explains this feeling...
this suffocation.
this extreme lack of patience with the huggable little jabberjaws.
they don't stop talking--
ever.
it's awesome, and I'm really glad they have such amazingly sharp and inquisitive little minds...
but
jesus.
there are some questions that cannot be put into 4-year-old answers,
and some that simply have no answer.
I think I need to be more creative with them--
or at least not so hell bent on giving them such precise and correct answers.
it's important, though...
because they remember every damn thing.
so if I shrug off an answer to a question that they need to build on later,
it will cause problems.
they are obsessed with the RPMs on the car.
they want me to rev the engine so they can see the needle reach redline.
they warn me repeatedly to not push it to 7, because then the engine will explode...
that's what their dad told them.
every damn "No" sign has to be explained to them, repeatedly.
"Mom, what does a circle with a line through it and a bike mean?"
no bikes on the freeway.
no people walking on the freeway.
no big trucks allowed on this road.
no u turns
no left turns
no right turns
no smoking
no pets
no parking
no shoes
no shirt
no service...

and did I mention how freaking adorable they are?
love them to smithereens.
just need more breaks, I guess.
(friggin wuss!)

Just a few anecdotes...

My kids have driven me to drink.
...so far it's only gone as far as water (on the rocks!),
but it's bound to escalate.

although, to help return the scales to a balance,
twin A said this morning, "mom, what kind of trees do cookies grow on?"
he had asked earlier who put the peeling on oranges...
so i had explained that no one "put" it there, that's just how they grow, and that they grow on trees.
the other day it was, "Who puts the clouds in the sky?"
...they actually have grasped the concept of water evaporating and forming clouds, which my husband offered as the answer to that.
little poops are smarter than me already!!
I'm doomed.

My kids are so stubburn!

We took them to get haircuts last night, and they refused. It was ridiculous.

The preschool teacher sent a note home, saying Oliver needs to work on counting to 10. I knew exactly what had happened as soon as I saw that: he had simply refused to do it. He has been able to count to ten for at least a year. So I asked him to do it for me. He refused me. A little while later, I asked him to give me 5 kisses, and to count them. He happily did it--and went all the way to ten easily.

I give up.

Here's a cute shot of Max from a few days ago:

Finally! A reason it's good to turn on the tv...

Yeah, I don't really believe that...HOWEVER...I should have turned on a movie this morning--I thought of it, but then I noticed how cute the boys were being. "Aww...they're being so creative in their play. I'll leave them to it." Famous last words!!! A few moments later, I could hear them. They were sitting on the stairs and it sounded like they were throwing crackers down to the landing. So I investigated. Yup. That's what they were doing. I asked them, more calmly then I felt, why they were doing that. They were very pleased with themselves..."feeding the birds!" That's great...THERE AREN'T ANY BIRDS IN OUR HOUSE!!

And that's the most recent installment of "Reasons my kids are the most tornado-like mess makers on the planet." And the almost-annoying part is that when part of their punishment is to clean up their own mess? They LOVE it. You would think they had won a prize..."I'll sweep it up, and you use the dustpan, okay?" Or when they wrote all over the walls last year--they happily spent most of that day washing the crayon marks off.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Well, at least they're willing to help clean up.
I swear to GOD I have the weirdest kids ever created.

And now they're quietly watching The Jungle Book 2.
I guess letting them be couch potatoes occasionally is good for them--and ME.

happy two month birthday, boys!

I just took a moment to go spy on my kids, who are each in a separate room, both talking to themselves....how much cuter can it get?? Actually my favorite is when they were just learning to talk and they would be singing or talking to each other as they went to sleep. That was DAMN cute. We had just moved our bedroom to the upstairs and they were downstairs, so we started using a baby monitor again when they had just turned 3. I used to lay in bed with the monitor and just glow with love....listening to the two sweetest little boys on earth, telling each other what the rules are (if you get out of your bed you go to time out), or retelling the stories i had just read to them, or singing the songs i had just sung to them...of course, at first it was something like, "twinkle star, twinkle star, twinkle star" rather than the actual song...but so much more precious in its imperfection.

oh my sweetest ones...i hope i can be the best mom for them, so that they will have great success and happiness in life. they are sooo smart--smarter than me, i'm sure--and i hope they can channel that better than i have.

one more for the road...

this morning:

Dad: tell mom she's a wussy.
Oliver (to me): you're a pussy wussy. pussy wussy! pussy wussy!

uh.
sheee-it.

Upside down and backwards

My kids eat pizza upside down and backwards. They hold it by the crust, but with the tip pointed away from them...and flip to toward them to eat. little freaks.

and, at one point today, oliver's pajama top was on upside down, inside out AND backwards. i don't know how he did it, but it was not easy to convince him to let me fix it. i had to tickle torture and throw him onto the bed by his feet. and FINALLY he agreed. he can be so incredibly stubborn. it's ridiculous. he likes to dress himself and refuses to "fix" his clothes if they're on wrong. so...he goes out in public with shorts on backwards, and shirts inside out or backwards (or both), shoes on the wrong feet...i swear to god people must think i'm a moron. the best is when it's a polo shirt type of shirt and it's backwards.

they are my funny little ducks.

Twin stumper of the day...

Max: Mom, what are kitties made out of?

Me: (muttering profanities under breath) Good NIGHT, Max.

Time to start Preschool

Well, the day is almost here...and of course I'm excited for the free time. But I'm also nervous for how the boys will adjust. They have been such mama's boys for so long, that I'm afraid it'll be hard for them to let go. Me? nah...I'm all set. I'm ready for them to take flight.

I also worry that they'll have a hard time fitting in with the routine and following the rules...we don't so much have what you'd call "structure" around this joint. We go with the flow. In other words: I SUCK. At least we have a lot of fun...

One more worry...the twin thing. I saw the first hint of it tonight at the preschool orientation meeting. We took them outside when it was over and they were swinging. Max wanted to go on the see saw. Oliver didn't. I suggested that he could ride it with another child who was standing nearby. Max replied, "No, it has to be Oliver." eeeeek. This should be really good for them...slowly stretch those boundaries, expand their comfort zone.

Their expanding little minds amaze me, though. They ask such intricate questions, and seem to crave knowing all the answers. It's not a mindless string of "why?"s, but an intense need to discover the way the world works. They asked today how a motor works. Cameron explained it to them. Then they had more questions. And they seem to really grasp a lot more of it than I would have guessed they could. I try to answer their questions in a simple, straightforward manner, but they seem to prefer Cameron's answers...male minds, I guess. I'm just glad he has such a good memory for all those details. Me, i get the general idea of how stuff works and why, but to explain it to a brand new mind...not easy.

That's enough for today. Next time I'll try to write a bunch of the cutesy stuff they've been doing.

Mama out.

Originally posted July 13th

(i thought this would be an appropriate start to this blog--a post from my main site)

tomorrow is my sons' 4th birthday!!
i'm so excited!
we're getting them new bikes and a sandbox and some other stuff.
i can't wait to see them riding BIG bikes...
they're growing up.
sniff.
and--woooooooo hoooooooo!
and another sniff...
it still amazes me how tiny they started out, how fragile.
7 weeks early.
4 pounds each.
on respirators and with feeding tubes...
i didn't even see oliver until the next day--
and i was only shown max for a fleeting moment.
when they pulled oliver out, i heard a distant voice say, "...not breathing..."
the drugs for dulling the pain of surgery kept me from panicking.
then i heard a tiny cry and a gore covered max was brought to my view.
then gone.
then i was taken to recovery where i shuddered with cold and couldn't form coherant thoughts.
i hate pain medication.
i tried to stop taking it the first day, but then i couldn't walk, so i had to start up again.
getting wheeled up to the newborn intensive care unit to see my pair of little red bugs.
and finally holding them...
so carefully, their dozen or so wires not making it easy.

going home without them, 3 days later.
driving to the hospital 3 times a day to nurse them.
or attempt to.
they didn't ever figure out how to eat.
premies don't have the hunger instict, they told me.
feeling lucky that my boys were so healthy.
finally taking them home...on the date my doctor had set for inducing me.
the day they should have been born.
3 1/2 weeks later.
please at the "cordless" versions of our tiny sons.
not having a frigging clue what to do with them when we got home.

and now?
you wouldn't know they were born a day early.
such rugged, smart little monsters.
they sure did sleep a lot back then.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.........
(and i still don't have a frigging clue what to do with them!)

Testing...

I have been blogging for about a year and half now, and what started out as a general blog, about all aspects of my life, has been refined into a blog which excludes much talk of my kids...So, I decided it was time to have a place to talk abou them. My sweet little boys. Max and Oliver are my twin boys who turned 4 this month, and they are crazy little bundles of energy. They do lots of funny things and ask more questions in a day than most teachers have to answer. So, here is where I plan to record all the sweet things about them. This is their journal. It's for me, and maybe someday--for them. I hope I stick with it...